Crayfish jokes and yarns


From Greg Davis, Australia

A bloke's wife goes missing on a camping trip at Blowering Dam. He spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened. Next morning a couple of pretty miserable policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable, come to the camp site.

The Sarge says " Mate we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news and some really good news." "Well," says the bloke "you'd better let me have it , both barrells, what's the bad news?"

The Sarge says "I 'm really sorry pal but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about 40 feet in a little cleft near the rocks. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead."

The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear this and has a bit of a turn. After a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is.

The sarge says, "Well when we got your wife up there was quite a few really good sized Murray Crays and a swag of yabbies in and around her polar fleece, so we've brought you your share." And he hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice Murray Crays and a dozen yabbies in it.

"Geez, thanks," the bloke says, "They're bloody beaut, I guess it's an ill wind and all that. Now what's the really good news?"

"Well," the Sarge says, "me and young Bill here go off duty at around 11 O'Clock and we reckon we'll shoot over there and pull her up again."


Printed with permission, from Freshwater Fishchat on

In the immortal words of Rolf Harris..when we were two little boys!

Well I don't know whether to be happy or sad.
Despite the problems of a couple of dead trout in the River recently, its fish seem to have survived the spraying episode, and the Marron fishing seasons in full swing.
(Marron - Cherax tenuimanus = large freshwater lobster).

Opening day I spotted one of the neigbours lads haulin a heavy wet hessian sack through our paddocks & up the hill past the house. He really seemed to be struggling! I asked what he had there and he says - "Oh - just a few Marron"!
I said - seems like you got a little more than the daily bag limit of 10 to me unless they all weigh about 4 kilogram (10 pnd) each!

He came back quick as a wink - "Oh yeah theres 30 actually - but me two brothers are still down there and they got licenses too".

I got to thinkin...crikey - he don't look much bigger n my lads - so what the heck - I took em to town today and they each bought 'emselves a Marron Fishing License for $10.00 and tonight they're down the river in the dark bye 'emselves catching a feed of marron.

Non of those sissy drop nets mind you - they have a pole snare and a crab scoop net. 4 weeks into this 7 weeks of summer school holidays and I'm about ready to strangle the two of em - so I hope this strategy works to keep em from beating up on each other all the time.They appeared at about 8 PM looking for a feed from mum - and scurried off straight after dinner to go back down the river and snare / scoop a few more off their set bait stations, with the aid of a torch.

They reckon one about 4 feet (between the eyes!) stole one of their baits and dragged it back into the depths of the pool, despite them having the baits pegged to the bottom with about two feet of stiff fencing wire.

I'm a little sad - cause the two kilos of bait they "found" turned out to be tonights dinner thawing in the refrigerator..and when Mrs T got home from work & found out I'd sent em off to the river with the next 3 days meals for the family, she really paid out on me!

Things dads go thru for their lads to have a bit o fun eh? *G*

Think I might sneak down for a looksee at how they're doing's been a while since I had a feed of marron. .hehehehe. They reckon theyre gonna stay all night...if I know my lads thy'll be asleep by about 11 PM max!...Sometimes I wish I wuz 10 or 12 again!

We'll - as you can hopefully see from the "livescan", it appears they did alright. They recckon they got 20 - but just kept the 6 biggest for a feed, and put the rest back."Gotta fish for the future dad".."if ya put a few back - ya alright jack" i'm hearing.
Seems some of the younger generation have the message it just remains for the rest of us to catch on..."release the future".

Cheers..or is that "Bon appetite" *G*

Thanks Trouty, visit this fisho here